Dear Facebook,
I’m writing this to say that I think we need to take a break from our intense relationship…
My obsession with you started sometime this spring. At first, everything was sweet and rosy. You were my new best (internet) friend. We hang out every day, and I’d drop everything at hand the very second you needed my attention – be it for a new wall post, friend request, or private message.
You were the best gossip buddy. You stalked a select number of my close acquaintances, and kept me posted about their whereabouts. You helped me share my situation with friends when I didn’t feel like asserting myself on them personally. You helped me poke the boy I fancy. You were my accomplice in a (in the end very successful) girly plot to convince a dear friend of something “mostly harmless”. Simply put, you and I were a great team.
But then, things started to get ugly. You started bringing in tonnes and tonnes of new people to our cosy, close-knit circle. People I hadn’t met for years and hardly knew, but didn’t really want to say no to. My inbox got swamped with notifications about things I didn’t care that much about. You developed an unhealthy appetite for vampires, zombies, aquarium fish, hatching eggs, and other strange and for me totally uninteresting topics. I felt how we started to grow apart. And how me and the friends I really wanted to keep in touch with started to move on to other playgrounds while you stayed behind. I grew increasingly annoyed that you craved so much attention, bugging me with news every 15 minutes. By the time I’d convinced you to stop emailing me notifications constantly, things had already gone too far.
Dear Facebook, I just don’t think we’re right for each other anymore. I’m so sad to say that we can’t continue like we used to back when we were bff. It’s been a great year and we’ve had a wonderful time together. And it’s definitely not you. It’s me. I just can’t handle all the pressure and the overload of information.
And please don’t be sad? You still have 40+ million other friends and are just getting more popular for each day. Others think you’re worth billions ($15B to be precise) and THE star of the internet world. I’m just not right for you. But we’ll still be friends and have coffee from time to time, right?
All my love,
Mimi
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